Thursday, October 14, 2010

Post 44, wherein the author introduces the first part of a new cast of characters


It's high time I started a bit more cataloguing of the craziness that is my life in the classroom each day. To provide some semblance of context for future instances of cataloguing, a brief starter descriptions of the children, with pseudonyms inspired my presidents of the past.

Washington is a delightful girl, smart and compliant but with a few tendencies that drive me crazy: she's a first-rate tattle-tale, a pushy line cutter, and otherwise rather bossy in general. She does this cute thing, however, where she always wants to copy verbatim what is written on the board when it comes time for free-write/draw.

Adams is a portly young man who would be too frustrating to handle if he weren't so dorky. He is often absent-minded and defiant, but I've come to understand that this is mostly because he is living within his anime-inspired dream world and often this comes out in his acts of defiance -- as when given an order and he responds, "NEVER!" and proceeds to shoot an imaginary fireball at me.

Jefferson is another handful. She loves taking care of people and being a friend to others, but this kindness of spirit does not always extend to her teachers, whom she often ignores and/or defies. She also has this funny way of talking that is very difficult to understand, and she will lure you into her face to tell you a story and then promptly spit on you with every "puh" that comes out of her face.

Madison is an utter delight. I cannot think of a time when she has required any kind of redirection at all ... and thus this may be the last she is mentioned in this blog other than as the victim of the antics of other children. Alas, such is the lot of the "good kid" in Mr. M's class.

Monroe has quickly become the star of the class. He operates mostly at a 3-year-old level (we think) and, as such, is the instigator for much of the chaos that occurs. He is a lovable child, despite his frequent tantrums (which can involve throwing chairs and other items), wanderings (which can involve fleeing the class, sometimes to the extent that he actually escapes the building and runs three blocks away), and other misadventures. He's going to be mentioned quite a lot, so I'll leave it at that for now.

Quincy Adams is a good-natured young man with a mischievous face but -- blessedly -- a relatively docile temperament. He is eager to please, bright, and well-liked. Again, another friend that may not get much play in this blog.

Jackson is another good-natured rascal. He is not without his challenges, however. He is extremely eager to please, which can often lead to bouts of pouting and crying when he provokes the teacher's disapproval. He is often easily made to cry by the antics of other students. Indeed, seemingly the slightest word of teasing or disdain will send him to tears. He is otherwise an ebullient child who runs with both arms thrust behind him (something I've taken to doing myself, just to try it out) and speaks excitedly and with a stutter.

Van Buren is a bit of a mystery. Her primary nickname so far has been "space cadet" because she so often "zones out." Similarly, though she volunteers to answer many (virtually every) question, her answers are almost NEVER intelligible, and when they are, they are altogether bizarre. My coteacher recently exclaimed that she had left her own kindergarten brain at home that day after making a mistake or forgetting something in class (this is something we say commonly) ... Van Buren raised her hand and whispered (for that is the only way Van Buren is known to speak) "I have your kindergarten brain at my house." Wha???

Harrison is strange in ways that are unsettling but that I also cannot entirely figure out. She suffers from what appear to be severe headaches and stomach aches, though it is often difficult for me to determine what is truly pain and what is merely attention-seeking. Her howling does seem authentic, though, I have to say. This, combined with the fact that she is nearly impossible to wake up, leads me to think that she may be malnourished somehow. In any case, she also speaks like a cartoon southern belle ("You drinkin a pop, Mistuh Muhkee?!?") and wears uniform polos that are entirely to large for her.

Tyler is another delightful student. She is very eager to please, though like Washington, she can be a tattle tale, bossy, and is especially pushy in line. She has so far brought the tastiest birthday cupcakes, however, so she is doing quite well in Mr. M's kindergarten class.

Polk (a.k.a Grabby Grabster #2) is a large latina youth who has some inappropriately immature tendencies, like scratching people, whispering mean things ("I don't want to be your friend no more!"), snatching art supplies, food and anything else she can, and howling like a pinched baby when someone wrongs her. However, for the past two weeks she has curbed nearly all of these tendencies and really seems to be developing into a top-notch kindergartner. So you may not hear much about her.

Taylor is a very small latina youth who is also exceedingly quiet, though she pops out of her shell briefly from time to time to show off her smarts and a sort of strange sense of humor. She also refuses to eat, is very difficult to wake up from naps, and has a twin sister in the class across the hall. Her most recent story in writing class was about a pair of monsters who ate "the girl and her mom" and then moved into their house. This stood out among all the other works, which more or less were about playing with friends or going to grandma's house.

Fillmore would be class president if there were such a thing. He is the most socially adjusted and academically advanced of the students in the class. He can be a bit of a baby when he doesn't get his way or something is too hard for him (upon which he suddenly transforms into a ridiculous mess moaning and crying for his 'mommy'), but typically he is delightful, responsible, and bright.

To Be Continued ...

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